GNT #085: Defining Core Values Can Change Your Life

read time: 5.5 minutes

 
We took a motorhome trip out west last week with the kids, the dog, and Ed's mom.

It was my third time in the Black Hills area, and every visit leaves me in awe of the landscape, geologic formations, and the brightest stars I’ve ever seen.

One of the highlights was visiting Devils Tower. My kids learned that this towering monolith was formed millions of years ago as magma pushed up through sedimentary rock layers, cooling and solidifying deep underground. Over time, the surrounding softer rock eroded away, leaving behind this resilient, 867-foot-tall structure. Its strength comes from a deep foundation of solidified magma, allowing it to withstand the test of time and the elements.

As I looked up at it, I couldn’t help but think about how much taller and more confident I stand when I know who I am -- when I’m rooted in the foundation of my core values.
 

In today’s newsletter, we’re uncovering why your core values matter and how defining (or solidifying) yours can help you live a more purposeful and authentic life.

Let's dig in.

My Wake-Up Call

The pandemic was a pivotal moment for many of us. For me, it wasn’t just a global health crisis, it was a life crisis. I found myself juggling little kids, a corporate job, and the overwhelming self-induced pressure to be perfect all the time at both.

I let my anxiety spiral out of control. It may have looked from the outside like I was thriving, but inside I was barely surviving.

In my career, I'd been chasing the corporate ladder because I thought it was what I should do. The advice to “take some me-time” felt hollow because I didn't know what I really enjoyed anymore.

Then came the realization -- I had no idea who I was or what I stood for. I was a "yes" woman and my worth was wrapped around accomplishing. I knew something had to change. I needed to figure out what I was living for. What my purpose was.

During this time, I had a conversation with a mentor who asked me a simple yet profound question: "What do you stand for?"

I was stunned by how difficult it was to answer. That question lingered in my mind for days, and I knew I had to find the answer, not just for myself, but for the life I wanted to create.

That’s when I began my journey to define my core values.

A Foundation for Change

Sure, I had a rough idea of what my core values were, but actually taking the time to put a stake in the ground and define them was one of the most life-changing acts I’ve ever done.

Here are the core values I stand on and what I discovered about myself through the process:

• Integrity & Service: Living true to my word, doing what's right, and helping others puts me in alignment with my true nature. It also means I need to create strong boundaries for my commitments, because I will do whatever it takes to get something done. At the same time, it also helped me realize the difference between ongoing commitment and consistency and the needed evolution of change. We can't grow if we don't realize when it's time to stop and pivot.
  
  
• Growth & Curiosity: I have an insatiable appetite for learning. I believe growth and experience are part of my life's purpose. This curiosity also helps me serve others. However, at the same time this is also why it's difficult for me to sit still and just be, receive, slow down, and enjoy. I have worked on this and improved in this area so much over the last 4 years.
  
  
• Empathetic Connection: Truly listening, validating, and honoring someone else's story, feelings, and existence fills my spirit. Making connections to ideas, people, and tools to help someone move closer to their purpose brings me joy. I’m learning to practice empathy without taking on challenges that aren’t mine to carry.
  
  
• Courage & Creative Freedom: I am on the path to fulfilling my purpose when I feel free to express myself authentically and have the courage to make choices and take risks that feel right. I’m learning to distinguish between fear and non-alignment.
  
  
• Wellbeing, Health, & Longevity: Growth is meaningless without physical, mental, and emotional health. I prioritize this as a basic necessity, continuing to learn about myself. I strive for an imperfect balance that allows me to live the life I choose to the fullest.

Doing the work to define my core values was so enlightening, but it was really just the beginning. The real transformation happened when I started living and making choices in alignment with them.

One of the most significant life changes I made was leaving the corporate world to start my own business in 2021. It wasn’t an easy decision, but it was a choice that aligned with my values of Courage & Creative Freedom, and Growth & Curiosity.

For me, starting my own business wasn’t just about career independence -- it was about creating a life that reflected who I truly am. I wanted the freedom to create, to grow, and to serve others in a way that felt authentic.

(btw, I don't think everyone should start their own business. You can align with your values in many different ways. Your journey is uniquely yours!)

The Exercise: Define (or Solidify) Your Core Values

Ready to dig in? Grab a pen or pencil and let's get to work.

For those looking for a comprehensive guide, The Values Factor by Dr. John Demartini offers an in-depth process to help you uncover and prioritize your core values.

Here's an overview to get you started:

1. Identify What Energizes You

What activities, environments, and relationships naturally energize and excite you? What are you doing when you feel most alive and engaged? 

Reflect on at least five moments or experiences where you felt completely in your element.

2. Reflect on Where You Spend Your Time and Money

Review your calendar and bank statements for the past month.

Where do you spend most of your time and financial resources? What patterns do you notice?

3. Consider Your Long-Term Goals

Write down three to five goals you’ve pursued consistently over the years.

What motivates you to keep going, even when it’s challenging? These goals often reflect your core values.

4. Examine What You Love to Talk About

What topics do you naturally gravitate toward in conversations with friends, family, or colleagues?

The subjects you’re passionate about can reveal what you value most.

5. Identify Your Role Models

Who do you admire most and why?

List three people you look up to and describe the qualities you admire in them. The traits you respect in others often mirror the values you hold dear.

6. Prioritize and Define Your Values

Review your answers from the previous steps. Write down all the values you’ve identified and prioritize them.

Which five to seven values resonate the most with you? Define what each value means to you personally.

7. Align Your Life with Your Values

Choose one value from your list and assess how well your current life aligns with it.

What changes can you make to better honor this value in your daily life? 

Takeaway

Now that you have a first pass at defining your core values, review these each week in your "Close Out the Week" Meeting.

Refine them, reflect on them, until they feel right.

Remember, major life experiences can shift your core values over time, so it’s important to revisit and reassess them regularly.

By doing this introspective exercise, you’re already ahead of 90% of people who haven’t taken the time to clearly define their core values. You’re building a solid foundation that will support your growth, decisions, and overall life fulfillment.

Cheers, my friend. You’re doing the work, and that’s something to be proud of.

I'm always rooting for you and here for you if you need help with your growth strategy, personal branding, or personal growth. 

Book a 1:1 coaching session with me here.

See you next week. 

p.s. If you enjoyed this newsletter, I hope you forward it to someone today.
  

Whenever you're ready, there are 3 ways I can help you:


1. Need some guidance on personal or professional growth? I'm here to help. It's easy to book time with me. Book a 1:1 worksession with me now.


2. Have a problem you want broken down into actionable steps to solve? Send it to me and I'll write about it.

3. Want short, but meaty tips on growth systems for profit, purpose, and life. Follow me on LinkedIn.