GNT #111: How I’m right-sizing my self-expectations

read time: 4 minutes

"How can you let it be enough over winter break?"

I vividly remember these words from my leadership coach, Lindsay, during a conversation before the holidays in December.

In 2024, I did a lot more deep work into who I am, what I value, and what I truly want.

Something I knew deep down but resurfaced this year is that the same traits that help me achieve are also the ones that can lead me straight to burnout.

As high achievers, we set ambitious goals. We push. We optimize. We drive forward.

But at what cost?

"How do you want to feel about yourself over the next few weeks… and how might you right-size the expectations you put on yourself during this time?"

These questions from Lindsay were perfectly timed. Because I’m not stopping or giving up on my goals. But I am done with the self-inflicted burnout cycle I used to face before.

So after our call, I grabbed my journal, sat in my thinking chair with a cup of tea, and wrote it out.

The insights I uncovered changed how I approached the holiday season last year.

I unplugged more than I have in years. I felt more present. I felt like a kid again. And wouldn't you know it, the framework I've been working on for my upcoming Purpose, Profit, and Wellbeing course all snapped into place.

My experience over winter break was so joyful, so memorable, that the essence made its way into my 2025 planning.

Today, I’m sharing how I decided to right-size my expectations of myself while continuing to hit my goals, and how you can do the same.

Here we go.
 

1. Define success for yourself

We all absorb external expectations, what success “should” look like based on society, work, culture, or friends.

But what actually matters to you in this season of life?

For me, success right now is less about exponential business growth and more about steady growth with high presence. At 7 and 11, my kids are at such a fun age - I truly look forward to our family time together.

Ask yourself:

✔ Am I chasing goals that are truly mine - or ones I think I “should” want?
✔ What would be “enough” for me to feel good at the end of the day?

2. Audit your capacity honestly

We like to think we can do it all. (And maybe we can - but not all at once.)

As one who's achieved mostly because I work harder than everyone else in the room, it is really hard for me to put a limit on my capacity.

Right-sizing my expectations required an honest look at my time, energy, and emotional bandwidth.

Ask yourself:

✔ If I assume everything will take longer than expected, what’s a realistic expectation?
✔ If I could only focus on one thing today, what would have the biggest impact?

3. Reframe expectations with a ‘good enough’ mindset

Perfectionism and chasing 100% urgently all the time usually meant I was giving 110%+ of my energy. Not sustainable.

But what if 80% (or even 50%) was still a success?

You see, we're not lowering our standards. Progress still counts.

Ask yourself:

✔ Would this still be successful if the goal is not perfectly met?
✔ What would I tell a friend in my situation? (And give yourself that same grace.)
 

4. Set ‘floor and ceiling’ goals

High expectations aren’t bad, but they can become a trap if they’re all or nothing.

Once I shifted my mindset of enough, I needed a structure to put it into action.

Enter: floor and ceiling goals.

• Floor goals: The minimum acceptable outcome that still moves me forward.
• Ceiling goals: The ideal outcome if everything aligns perfectly.

This removes the pressure of "I have to do it all."

Some days, hitting the floor is plenty. On other days, I reach the ceiling. Both are wins, and both move me closer to my long-term goals.

Example:

• Floor: Write for 10 minutes a day.
• Ceiling: Finish my newsletter in one work session.

Ask yourself:

✔ What’s the minimum I can do and still feel progress? (floor)
✔ What does success look like if everything goes perfectly? (ceiling)
✔ Can I count both as progress toward my goals?

5. Test and adjust

Even with the best intentions, I know right-sizing expectations isn’t a one-and-done process. Life throws curveballs. Energy fluctuates. Priorities shift. And what works one season might not work the next.

And that’s where simply testing and adjusting comes in.

Instead of judging myself for falling short, I'm using those moments as data points.

• If I consistently hit the ceiling, am I aiming too low? Could I stretch a little further without sacrificing well-being?
• If I keep missing the floor am I overcommitting? Does my floor need to be even more realistic to sustain consistency?

Ask yourself:

✔ How do I feel as I pursue my goals - energized, motivated, or constantly drained?
✔ What’s working well that I can double down on?
✔ Where am I still pushing too hard, and how can I ease up without losing momentum?
✔ What adjustments can I test this week to make my goals more sustainable?

Takeaway

Right-sizing your expectations doesn’t mean settling for less.

It means creating space for progress and presence. It means pursuing your goals in a way that feels energizing, not exhausting.

Because when you define success on your terms, honor your capacity, and allow “good enough” to count on tough days, you’re moving forward - sustainably.

And the best part is, you don’t have to get it perfect. You just have to keep testing, adjusting, and showing up in a way that works for you.

So, what’s one expectation you can right-size this week?

Grab your journal. Pour a cup of something warm. And let yourself explore what “success” really looks like for you.

See you next week!

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