GNT #076: My System for Changing Deep Beliefs

read time: 4.5 minutes

I celebrated my 41st birthday last week.

Growing up, I was excited to get older - to do all the things my big sisters did: get taller, go on big kid rides at the amusement park, drive a car, and be independent.

But in my late twenties, I started to perceive aging as a negative, especially as I faced challenges with starting a family, getting pregnant, miscarriages, and a deep postpartum depression after my first son was born.

I began to see aging as a downfall, an inevitable decline.

In my late thirties, I came across a 20-year study from Yale that concluded:

People with positive perceptions of aging lived 7.5 years longer on average, were diagnosed with fewer cases of dementia, and experienced less cardiovascular problems.*

I was flabbergasted.

A longer, better, and fuller life—based largely on mindset?

This data had a profound impact on me - and I decided I no longer wanted to see aging as a negative.

I started integrating the beliefs I wanted into the process I was developing for changing my beliefs.

Now, at 41, I'm stronger than I've ever been (all of my lifts are at least 50% more than they were in my 20s).

I'm celebrating my white hairs, refusing to dye them, and thinking my white streaks will look cool against my dark hair as I age.

I believe it's my purpose to teach and help others as I get older with what I've learned along the way.

"Okay, Colleen. But how do you actually change the way you think, which in turn changes the way you feel, the way you act, and the results you experience?"

In today's newsletter, I'm getting personal and sharing my system for changing my deep beliefs—a system I learned through a life-changing event that showed me the power of mindset.

(Also, I'm not a trained expert on mindset, but I've spent a lot of time learning tools that I use in my life to create the change I want.)

Let's dig in.

My story

I'm about to share an experience that shaped my belief in the power of mindset to completely change our lives.

Please note, it's deeply personal. While you might not agree, I hope you can appreciate that it's a case study in the power of mindset.

Setting the stage...

Motherhood is a complex subject for me. I lost my mom to cancer when I was 13, so when I became pregnant in 2013, I was flooded with all sorts of emotions.

Who could I go to to figure out how all this works?
Could I be a good mom if I only knew mine for a short time?
How could I live as long as possible to be there for my kids as long as possible?

As I started learning more about the whole process, one thing struck me as something I absolutely, without a doubt, wanted—a natural, non-medicated birth. So, I purchased a home study hypnosis program called Hypnobabies.

It consisted of two things:

- A nightly meditation/affirmation track I listened to before bed.
- A daily track I could listen to in the car, on a walk, or whenever I felt I needed it

I had no idea what to expect, but I followed the program to a T.

And believe it or not, I experienced no pain with either of my natural birth experiences.

Was it hard work? Yes, absolutely.

But I believed that childbirth didn't have to be painful, so it wasn't.

This experience taught me that with enough introspection and daily commitment to changing a habit, any change is possible.

It also laid the groundwork for the system I still use for managing, changing, and owning my beliefs.

Here's how I use it today.

Identifying Limiting or Negative beliefs

In my story, I knew I wanted to reframe my beliefs around childbirth. Sometimes it might not be that clear.

Realizing that you have a limiting belief and identifying what it is can be half the battle.

Here are some steps to help you dig in and uncover your limiting beliefs:

1. Reflect on Your Reactions: What triggers you? Notice your emotional responses in various situations. Negative reactions can often point to underlying limiting beliefs.
2. Journaling: Write down your thoughts and feelings. Look for recurring themes or statements that suggest limitations or self-doubt.
3. Seek Feedback: Ask trusted friends or family members for their perspective. They might notice patterns you are too close to see.
4. Mindfulness and Meditation: Practice being present, where your feet are, and observing your thoughts without judgment. This is a lot harder than I ever thought!
5. Identify Patterns: Look at different areas of your life—relationships, career, health—and see if there are any recurring negative outcomes or feelings. 

Some current limiting beliefs I'm working on:

"I don't have enough time."
"It's hard for me to just be - without thinking of the things I need, want, or should do."
"It's difficult for me to receive."
"I'm not as far along as I'd like to be."

Reframe into a positive belief statement

Now that we've identified the limiting beliefs, let's rewrite them into positive statements.

For example:

"I don't have enough time."
> becomes > 
"I have enough time to do everything I need to do."

"It's hard for me to just be - without thinking of the things I need, want, or should do."
> becomes > 
"It's so easy for me to just be. And feel peace, contentment, and clarity."

"It's difficult for me to receive." 
> becomes >
"I am open to receiving with gratitude and ease, welcoming all the good that comes my way."

"I'm not as far along as I'd like to be."  
> becomes >
"I am exactly where I am supposed to be - serving my life's purpose in creating positive energy."

Write each new positive belief on an index card. Feel free to add a gratitude phrase at the end, like "thank you, thank you" (Thanks Jenny Jefferds for this tip!).

Create the habits to internalize your positive belief statements

I love exploring different mediums with my new belief statements to see how they feel and take hold over time.

Whether that's:

- Reading them out loud over lunch.
- Writing them down each morning in a journal.
- Memorizing them and repeating them with eyes closed before bed.
- Recording them in my own guided affirmations I listen to and repeat in the car.

(I always thought it would be awesome to create a piece of art based on the new belief!)

Everyone is so wonderfully different with how they best internalize new positive beliefs. 

Choose 2 mediums of daily repetition that you'd like to start with now. These can change over time.

But the key here is to figure out how to actually create the habit of repetition each and every day. Here are some ideas to help you form these habits:

• Schedule Time: Block out specific times on your calendar dedicated to your belief statements.
• Pair with Existing Habits: Link your new habit with a routine you already do daily, like brushing your teeth or drinking your morning coffee.
• Set Reminders: Use phone alarms or sticky notes to remind yourself to practice your belief statements.
• Use a Habit Tracker: Keep a log or use an app to track your progress and stay motivated.

Know that these statements might feel uncomfortable at first, but over time they will feel more natural.

Consistency is the key to making them a part of your mindset.

Takeaway

I know that mindset will not instantly solve all my problems.

It can't guarantee that we'll escape every negative event, prevent us from facing challenges we need to overcome, or fix the emotions we need to confront.

What I know is this.

You can recalibrate your beliefs if you choose to.
You can make the most of your present and future.
You have people who believe in you.

I'm one of them. 

See you next week!

p.s. If you enjoy this newsletter. I hope you share it with someone today.

p.p.s. If you liked this topic, you might also like GNT #037: A surprisingly simple technique to find your life's purpose

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* Longevity study from Yale School of Medicine