GNT #016: 4 Fixes for the Message-killing "ums"

Read time: 3.5 minutes

"I, uh, want to talk to you today, about, uh, something I'm, umm, working on."

Eeeks.

We're talking about those "ums", "ahs", and filler language that distract from your elegant elevator pitch, how artfully you ask customer-focused questions, or your well-honed mix of stories and stats in a valuable networking meeting.

These innocent little filler words aren't an issue -- when they're used once or twice...

But, if your delivery is filled with words like "um", "uh, "like", "right", "so", or "you know" -- you're wasting valuable attention, killing your credibility, and giving your listeners too many opportunities to get distracted.

[I'm no stranger to filler language myself. I had a debilitating stutter that took me years and speech therapy to overcome. Occasionally, the stutter creeps in which sometimes triggers the "ums."]

Recently, I heard myself speak in a recorded session and noticed more than a couple of these filler words creeping back in.

So I asked LinkedIn for some advice.

I was blown away by the thoughtful and creative ideas shared.

In fact, this LinkedIn post also spurred a number of offline discussions from people that have kicked out their "ums" for good.

[see collaborative credits below!]

Today, I'm sharing these findings and 4 recommended fixes over 4 weeks for the message-killing "ums".

[These are the exact steps I'm implementing right now as I clean up my "ums."]

Fix #1: Find a Partner to Help Increase Awareness

Until I heard myself recently in the recorded session, I had no idea the "ums" were creeping back in because it happens unconsciously.

To move it from unconscious to within our awareness, we need a partner (or two) to act as a trusted source of awareness when it happens.

In week 1 - can you find someone at work (and perhaps even at home) to point out each time you use the filler word?

Not ready for this? Record yourself and listen to it like I did. How many times did you use filler words?

The goal here isn't to feel bad. It's simply to give you the awareness of what you're not yet hearing on your own.

[My husband, Ed, and I are both embarking on this language clean up initiative - and we'll be each other's "um" catchers.]

Fix #2: Catch Yourself

In week 2, can you start to notice yourself saying "um" without anyone pointing it out to you?

Again, not feeling bad about it, but simply an awareness of "oh, I said it" and "there is is again!"

At this point we should start to notice how often we say it and feel ready to do something about it by the end of week 2.

[I'm including a line item in my morning ramp up meeting with myself (journal, run through goals, to-dos and calendar BEFORE opening email) to remember I'm tracking this.]

Each day gets a sticky note and "um" tallies.

I'm sure I'll miss a bunch of "ums", but the habit I'm working on at this point is to notice the "ums".]

Fix #3: Replace the filler words with a pause

After a week of having your partner(s) call out your "ums" and a week of hearing yourself use filler words, you're probably motivated to make a change.

You're ready to start replacing the filler words with a pause or a breath.

In week 3, when you hear or even start to feel like you COULD use a filler word...

STOP.

And pause.

Or take a breath.

This will be awkward. [Especially for someone like me who is uncomfortable with silence.]

But it won't be awkward for your audience.

Every time you hear, or feel like you could use a filler word, just STOP.

Your listeners, your future self, and your message will thank you for doing this hard, uncomfortable work!

Fix #4 - Keep up the practice

After a week of awkwardness and starting to replace your filler words with a pause, week 4 will start to feel less awkward.

A sign you're making a change!

In week 4, keep up the pauses and keep asking your accountability partners for feedback.

Has your speaking flow changed from three weeks ago?

If you recorded yourself before, try recording yourself again and compare the number of "ums" you hear.

If it improved even just slightly, feel good about making change in speaking fluency!

If you feel the "ums" creeping back in at any point, go back to #1 again to refresh the process.

Takeaways

4 Fixes over 4 weeks for the message-killing filler words:

1. Find a Partner to Help Increase Awareness
2. Catch yourself.
3. Replace the filler words with a pause.
   
4. Keep up the practice.

I hope this article was helpful.

I'd like to thank Marc Kermish, Nathan Hallmark, Julie McConnell, Kyle Marek-Spartz, Sheena Burt, Dan Wisniewski, Michael Swanson, Michael Madison, Ryan Carter, Clark Stinson, Bret Roberts, and Amanda Hanson for their collaboration and advice on this topic.

See you again next week!



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